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I can't believe some people think autistic folks are incapable of feeling sexual desire. They should watch a little bit of Chris Chan to change their mind.

I have problems with updating my friends on my mental health. Its really mentally tasking to each time I see someone explain what the recent update is, since it changes so fast - and then it puts the pressure on them to feel sorry for me and brings the mood down and i just don't like doing it. But recently I discovered that I can just post mental state updates on my close friends stories. I can say what I've been struggling with lately, so that they know what sensitive topics are - this is how I told my inner circle just how much of a trouble a recent episode caused me with eating enough and how I'm still recovering from that, so now my friends just check in with me to ask if I remembered to eat. It's great honestly and it takes the pressure both off of me and off of them.

TJ Klune’s In The Lives Of Puppets is a great example of ace rep, the main character, Victor being asexual and having to deal with the inhuman robots around him (a nursing robot) talking about sex, masturbation, etc. Klune gives intelligently written examples of the discomfort ace people may sometimes face in such a sex-centered society.

one of the first things I establish with potential friends is that I will not be the "text/talk every day" type, I value my alone time highly in fact if they're the type of person to get anxious if I don't talk to them for a couple weeks then it's not going to work. there's a reason my bestie and I can go literal YEARS without talking then meet up like we saw each other yesterday, that's just how we are 😂

Oh Cry about it will ya? I swear blue hairs will find a problem with literally anything

So, I am very into music and writing right? I love writing music and poems. However, sometimes due to my acne I feel wrong reading or listening to things I find beautiful. Because for me I am ugly. I see myself as hideous. It really sucks because things get ruined for me because I truly feel unworthy of them. This topped with some other things I would rather not speak on has been really detrimental to me. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, I’ll say that much just to give you a sort of idea of what I’m talking about. I hate listening to something I find ethereal and beautiful because I don’t feel those things. I’m not worthy of those things. I hate reading about romance because I don’t feel worthy of such. It feels as if I’m trying to force myself into a world in which I don’t belong too. Which really sucks because I am obsessed with the romantic and ethereal things in life. I just know I probably won’t be apart of that. I’m basically only spectating really but I don’t even feel like I’m worthy of that.

Tbh we need better gay writers like we got all these gay characters written by gay people who are most of the time the same shittly written characters like can't we get someone who is gay or bi but they have actual characterization. Nimona is legitimately a great film great gay writing

I remember in high school my friends hugged each other when we greeted each other. A boy classmate asked me if we were all gay. 😑

While I support you getting a well known and high-end brand like Lelo as a sponsor, and I feel like that support trumps the negatives- Lelo is a terrible company within the adult pleasure industry. :< They have a whole collection of issues, but off the top of my head; Having Charlie Sheen as the face of their Condoms line *after* all the info about him came out. Marketing in sexiest ways. Not honoring their warranty. A toy that caused serious harm and still selling that product. Buying up patents just to sue other companies and not even using that tech themselves. A quick google search can bring up a lot more. Still- love the video and I do think it's a net positive for you to get such a big-name sponsorship.

uueee ueeee, daddy, help they are working out, ueeeee

Pretty good video. I have a question: near the end you suggest there should be villains who are righteously getting revenge for mistreatment. Something like this was done in superhero movies like Black Panther or The Dark Knight Rises, among a handful of others. A lot of people criticized those stories for having villains who are basically right but then do some arbitrary like kill a bunch of civilians to maintain their villain status. How would you balance “has a legitimate complaint against society” with “is evil and must be stopped?”

This is something I've been thinking about a lot as I'm getting toward the end of university. I'm a mature student and I definitely struggled a lot with forming friendships throughout, especially as my first two years were disrupted by the pandemic that had obvious social ramifications. To make matters worse, I'm a recovering agoraphobe, and being out in public was an extreme stressor for the longest time, and I'm now on the track of an adult asd/adhd diagnosis while living with a family that abuses substances, so I can't really converse in a meaningful way. I have my boyfriend, but we don't live together, and I don't want to burden him with negative aspects of my life too much in the limited time I get with him. I don't have any surviving friendships from my past. My two longest friendships dissolved entirely quite organically. One was a good school friend who was very much a catch-up friend. I used to say that the she was my soulmate. We saw each other every weekday for four years, then made time weekly for another three years. Then we got boyfriends, we got busy. I moved to another country for five years and lost touch. When I came back, it felt at first like the conversation picked up where it has last finished. But soon, there were more people in her life than I could keep up with, she'd get frustrated with my not remembering names and nicknames for all the extra characters. She'd be complaining of life struggles like mortages and a new kitchen, where I was still trying to find a job to move out of my parents' place, as I'd had to restart my life twice in my adult life and was so very behind. Our lives were just in totally different places. Seeing her became kind of a chore, and I realised I was zoning out while she talked at me, and that on some level I resented her progress against my lack of it. It started to feel obvious that when she called me, she was just feeling obligated, and dying to get off the phone. When I found out that she got married, I wasn't upset that I hadn't been invited or even told the date. It just really gave me an excuse to let her go. We were no longer important to each other, and that was okay. I think I'd already mourned it, so I didn't get upset. She still likes my posts on social media sometimes, but the idea of getting back in touch feels awkward. The other friend I lost, I only ever knew online. She was a bit older than me and I looked up to her a lot. We actually met on a digimon online roleplay forum when I was 12ish, and she would have been 14-15. We used to RP and had this enormous joint world built with all these characters with varying relationships and connections. We would draw our characters and stuff too. Toward my mid-late twenties, my friend was coming online less and less. She was busy. Working full time, long term relationship etc. It started to be really obvious to me that she wasn't enjoying the roleplay aspect of our friendship as much anymore. Selfishly I pushed her to do it anyway, even though her heart clearly wasn't in it. I think I was scared. It was a mix of a fear of letting all my beloved characters "die" and this fear that our relationship would die if we stopped writing since we didn't really have much more in common than that, given the age gap, distance and different life places. I used to check our forum every day just in case she posted, even when she'd been gone months. Well, one day I realised it had been a whole year since she'd come online. My best friend wasn't interested in me anymore. I was absolutely crushed by this. Tbh I felt like dying. It was worse than any breakup I've ever had. I lost my best friend, and my characters were dead. I'm in my mid 30s now. I didn't really make any connections until my final year of uni. There's five people I now call my friends - all either woman, transman afab or non-bionary afab. I didn't want to call it friendship at first, because I was scared of getting too attached then losing them all. But really, I love them all enormously. I would never have gotten this far without any one of them being in my life. But honestly, days before my final deadline, I'm already starting to mourn them. I feel like my lack of success at retaining friendships through my entire life, especially in adulthood, means that these connections are just as doomed. I don't want them to be. We're all obviously on the same course and looking at similar careers. I'd love to imagine that it will bind us together enough that we'll be able to hold on to each other. I'm historically awful and keeping in touch. I hate social media, and texting/DMs feel time consuming for me and run down my social battery even faster than in-person activities. I'm preemptively devastated honestly. It's a vulnerable feeling. In a way, I feel more willing to take chances with romantic relationships than I am with friendships, and I worry I've made a huge mistake, made myself vulnerable to hurt. My boyfriend talks about male loneliness a lot and about how lonely he is. But the way I see it, he is constantly connected to his friends. He's in Discords with them and talks to them every day either verbally or through text, he goes to concerts and food markets with them, or meets them for drinks. He does D&D weekly with some of them, shares work stuff with others that he met through uni, where they talk about their students and stuff. But he feels lonely. And he "doesn't count" a lot of those messages against his loneliness. He says things like "I haven't gotten any time with my friends in months", because he doesn't count daily discord chats, he only counts the time he went to a concert two months ago. I think I understand actually, in a way. When he talks online, it's very surface level. They are casual with each other or making jokes or talking about media or whatever else. It's only when they see each other in person that they have deep interpersonal talks and hug, and only if the group is small enough. Big groups are impersonal. For me, I will happily be affectionate and deep with my friends online, but for him it's different. I get it. We have different social needs. Simialrly, he doesn't understand how I can be so content with being alone and having so many solitary hobbies. I've only been to one concert in my entire life, and I went with a stranger because I wanted to see the band so bad! He wants me to make friends with his friends, and he doesn't get my hesitence at risking it. I don't know, I think I found this video at a good time. It doesn't necessarily solve my issues, but it makes me feel kind of seen. I've been feeling like my loneliness isn't valid because "male loneliness" is the important issue right now. I keep being told "it's not the same" that I'm lonely, or that it's my fault because women "make friends so easily". Well, I don't, and I find it impossible to maintain them.

Obviously I have a lot of issues with The Good Doctor, but I don't think everyone should be crazy harsh on the I am a surgeon scene. I've melted down when I feel disregarded and not taken seriously. Some autistic people do have crippling meltdowns. I do think we should try to choose autistic actors to play the role of characters that are autistic

I think Michael Scott from the office is a very interesting accidental autism representation.

Men that have access to 'emotional socialisation' only ever do so once, because it ruins our relationships, friendships, and standing in society.

1:15:33 😭😭 THAT STARTLED ME- I am currently tidying my desk I did not think I would get called out - also,great video :)

I came here to learn more about asexuality but mmmmm why are y'all using a smart toaster aka Data, as an example? 😅😅

Checking in at the end to confirm you called me out- I'm halfway through a dining room deep clean and reorganization 😂 Great video!!

I'm a s3xual person and I find s3x scenes boring. Definitely agree with ranking them as skippable.

Its me a devious deviant 😊

i'd been thinking of starting this show for years bc treasure island is one of my fave books that i've been reading for countless times since i was a child. then i saw your video and i was so invested in it until you went to spoilers, so i had to pause and start watching the show. and here i am, enjoyed every second of it, probably one of the best shows i've ever watched. and your video is a cherry on top! great analysis, comparison with GoT which is also my fave show but you made so many great points.

have my second date this weekend at 34, acespec4acespec and i very much bought into the perpetual life of loneliness for like, 15 years. just wanna say it's possible to change that if you want to, if you are willing to play the numbers game of it (and if you have safe ways of meeting other queer people). re: lesbian media and sexualization, i know it's an unpopular choice but i've always loved Kissing Jessica Stein because it doesn't know it, but it's about a biromantic ace woman dating a biromantic bisexual woman. I don't know any ace4ace movies or tv but I think there are some books? It's def. not ace but I do also love Ancestral Night, which is a space opera book in which the lesbian protagonist chooses to turn off her sexual attraction throughout. importantly she is an allo lesbian making that choice as a choice but the result is her being in a position i found resonant with my wlw acespec experience anyway

What about dopey from Snow White . U can say what u want but that was a gay face and mannerisms were very gay

Yep this is why maxmax was hyjacked 😂😂😂

While part of girl dinner may very well be that deep, I've also seen the audio applied to a garbage truck "eating" the garbage, or crunchy leaves on the ground, or someone playfully biting their partner, or someone's budgie playing in kitchenware. It's just a fun thing to meme on.

nice hair

Idk why but I remember that that movie with snogging and thongs in the title made me happy. It’s very hetero but my queer teenager self just loved something about it

Ive always said Mal, Uma and Harry are bi. Evie is not. Straight as an arrow.

I'm not sure if someone else brought this up, but I think there's an added layer of isolation inflicted on Louis by associating him with a church burning. In the US, particularly the southern/southeastern US, church burning was used as a way to intimidate and terrorize black communities. So Louis being associated with this kind of act separates him not just from his family and friends but also the black community.

I feel a need to point out Tech from the bad batch in season 2 (yes it's head canon...sorry). While every character are mostly one trope, A team, character, his talk with Omega about the fact that " expressing and internalizing grief in a different way does not make the feeling any less present" made me feel seen. As people on the spectrum can vary widely I'm not saying he his a representation for the ages but to me it felt both in line with his character, explained has I would to an adult (he his talking to a literal child but not infantilizing himself or her) and well balanced enough to make me feel good about it.

5:30 Trans women and autism. Name a more iconic duo.

Ahhhh as a queer, poly person with a queer platonic relationship, it was really validating hearing you discuss how poly people can have intentional relationships that challenge the realms of what a friendship can be 🥳🥳🥳

not you breaking the 4th wall while im doing my work 😭

I just graduated hs and I’ve always been very aware of who my real friends are, so though I talked to almost everyone, I only had like two or three people I truly called my friends. I hope I’ll make some more good friends in college. Queer friendships also sometimes feel like they’re…..speedrun almost lol. We discuss similar trauma and hopes and aspirations and boom.

me, listening to this while cleaning my room.. LMAO .. I am seen1:15:20

The tv show Bones

Just to say a massive thank you, this video literally changed my life. You described my childhood pretty accurately and then when you said the Zoom meeting thing the penny dropped. 2+ years later I'm diagnosed, medicated and my life is so much better and so much of my past makes more sense.

Hard reflection at the end when chi,dhood you didn't have successful friendships and was bullied through socia, isolation 😅 ever knew how to have a friend xd

What the hell is even that?

I created a WhatsApp group chat with many close gay friends for my bachelor party... It was the best idea!! They didn't know each other before and I accidentally created an amazing friend group 💖🏳️‍🌈

I like girls dinners I want to eat multiple things so I eat multiples things 😂

I think one of the difficult thing with portraying disabled or neurodivergent people is that because there isn't enough of them on television you can't make them flawed outside of their disorder. If you do it becomes a negative stereo type or reinforcement of negative beliefs making anything but an altruistic person akin to slander to the community. You can't write them as a villian or a bad person because instead of the viewer seeing a bad person that has autism or a disability they are instead seeing them as a bad autistic person.

Stan gay magneto send tweet

I blame technology for our loneliness

Love the chaos in this video! this is the energy i need in my life.

Just go workout. Ur talkin too much fr

The autistic doctor misgendering kinda makes sense because he doesn't understand the social construct they're portraying and just sees them as what they are biologically, as a doctor would need to, to treat them properly in accordance to various binary anatomical needs, whatever they may be.

Making friendships as a grown up is fucking hard, especially when you move to a new city. We’ve become so afraid of being vulnerable nd authentic. We want to curate everything, it’s sounds corny but I don’t know how else to be authentically me. And that is weird to s9me people especially in circles in LA when people are so used to playing a role.

3:56 Why do so many people forget about Jon Polidori’s The Vampyre? Seriously, I understand that Carmilla is important and all, but dang it, Lord Ruthven deserves more recognition. Ruthven arrived in 1819. Carmilla didn’t show up until 1872. That’s about 53 years apart from each other (if my math is correct). Again, I’m not saying that Carmilla is bad or overrated or anything like that…but Lord Ruthven is the REAL father of the Gothic Fiction Vampire. Varney also deserves some respect too, but that’s a different story.

Idk about what the writers have said about him, but from the manga/anime dungeon meshi, laios, whos shown to socially unaware and blunt, obsessive about monsters and eating them, having a strange way of looking at situations, he comes off as very autistic with even the english VA being excited to portray him as he is autistic as well